Reunion Tips for Parents, Family and Friends

Here is some information I found on a website for soldiers coming home from deployment. The Army term is redeployment

Reunion Tips for Parents, Family, and Friends
As a parent, extended family member, or friend of an Service member, who is just coming home or is arriving soon, you are probably both excited and nervous about the homecoming. Even if you’ve been through a mobilization/ deployment before, this one has been different because of the increased stressors of the time. Regardless of your experience and Service member’s assignment, there will be a period of adjustment.

What to Expect When your Soldier Comes Home
You have certainly missed your Service member, as they have missed you. Reestablishing relationships will take time and communication. It’s normal for the returning Service member to “need space” upon their return. It’s normal to feel nervous and anxious about the homecoming. Plan for homecoming day. After homecoming, allow the returning Service member to schedule the next few days or weeks. Expect things to be different. Take time to understand how the Service member has changed. Be prepared and flexible. The Service member may have seen or experienced some things that were very upsetting. Some normal reactions to these abnormal situations are fear, nervousness, irritability, fatigue, sleep disturbances, startle reactions, moodiness, trouble concentrating, feelings of numbness, and frequent thoughts of the event. Talking with others who were there and/or counselors trained in crisis stress reactions is very important. The Service member may be facing a change in job assignment or a move. Readjustment and job transition cause stress. This may be especially true for demobilizing Guard and Reservists who are transitioning back into civilian life.

Making the Reunion Easier
Take time to get reacquainted. Communicate your love and concern. COMMUNICATE!! Tell each other how you feel—nervous, scared, happy, that you love and missed them. Listen to each other. The best way to get through the reacquaintance jitters and regain closeness is to talk and actively listen.
Reassure the Service member that they are needed, and that you are happy he/she has returned safely. Be calm and assertive, not defensive, when discussing events that have taken place during the Service member’s absence. The service member may need to hear that it wasn’t the same doing these things alone, that you’re glad he/she’s back, and that you’d like to discuss problems and criticisms calmly. Prepare children of the extended family for homecoming and involve them in reunion activities.

Take Time for Yourself to Make the Reunion for Everyone Concerned Easier: Make time to rest. Negotiate social events and activites. Limit your use of alcohol. Remember alcohol was restricted during the Service member’s deployment and tolerance is lowered. Go slowly in getting back into the swing of things. Depend on family and friends for support. You are part of the Service member’s support network.

Remember Go slowly - don't try to make up for lost time.
Accept that your Soldier may be different.
Take time to get reacquainted.
Reassure your loved ones.
Seek help if needed