Tonya got a promotion at work and I am proud of her. She seems happy and likes her job.
I am still still working for the same bank. I read something the other day about being safe on the internet and as a result I won't be posting specifics on where we live or where we work. To bad there are dishonest and people who prey on others. That being said I read something the other day that I really enjoyed. It came from a book by Cheiko N Okazaki and she was quoting Wilferd Peterson who she knew nothing about except this piece he wrote. He said, The art of becoming rich is simply to live richly in bond, mind heart and spirit.
You become physically rich when you have rich sensations: When your senses are alert and attuned to life so that the very fact of being alive takes on new dimensions and simple experiences have new meaning. The smell of a rose, the stretch of a muscle, the sight of a mountain, the sound of the surf, the taste of strawberries, the touch of clean white sheets...
You become mentally rich when you think rich thoughts: When you immerse you mind in the noble thoughts of others, preserved throught the ages in books; when you are curious to learn all you can about the world and its people, the earth beneath your feat and the farthest star in infinite space; when you develop an appreciation of beauty in painting and sculpture, poetry and music; when you expand your mind to encompass great ideas; when you use the magic of your mind to create and to serve...
You become emotionally rich when you have rich feelings; When you know the radiant glow of obeying noble inpulses to give and help and inspire; when you experience the bond of warm friendship and deep affection; when you know the joy of hearing a baby laugh; when you are aware of giving and receiving love...
You become spiritually rich when you discover the riches of the kingdom within: When you have a consciousness of the oneness of all life; when you experience kinship with nature; when you are open to the buoyant spiritual life of beingin tune with the Infinite;
The best definition of a rich person is a person with a rich self. What a person is, not what he has, is the measure of real wealth.
This made me realize how rich I really am and that I am and have been richly blessed.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
11-13-2010 Update
Tonya is enjoying Iowa and working at Midwest Academy. She is looking forward to the snow. Catch her on facebook.
Kole is enjoying having a new truck. He does not enjoy the expenses associated with a new truck. Insurance for a young man is very expensive. Having driven with him I understand why it is so costly. I was not very different as a young driver. He has not been in an accident and that is wonderful. One of the challenges of life is learning how to care for and conserve those temporal blessings that we are given, expecially money. Adult choices of spending come with the adult consequences of not having when we over spend. As a parent it is also a challenge of how to help and not enable. As I observe what an entitled society we live in it is important to me that I some how be an influence for accountability and self sufficiency.
I am happy to have a job that I enjoy and good people to work with. I wish at times it were not so stressful and dependant up on getting new business. With both of my kids out of the house at the current time I have stuck my toe into the singles scene. It is not as easy as it was back in the day when I could just go join a ward and become involved. There is a conference coming up the weekend of the 18 thru the 21st. I will attend as painful and uncomfortable as it may be at times. I went to a planning meeting for the conference a couple of Sundays ago and really felt out of place. One of life's uncomfortable moments and an opportunity to learn and grow. Look for other ways to be involved was one lesson learned.
Our Stake has been really stressing reading the Book of Mormon and making it a part of our daily learning. I feel so blessed to have a testimony of the Book of Mormon and love those Prophets who wrote and abridged and Joseph Smith for bring it forth by the power of God.
Life is good and I am glad for the opportunity. Glad I made the choice I did in the pre-existance. Glad to have made the covenants I have made in my life. Now is the challenge of keeping them and living so I can return and live with Heavenly Father. I want to fulfill my purpose and destiny with courage and compassion. Doing so will bring me joy.
Kole is enjoying having a new truck. He does not enjoy the expenses associated with a new truck. Insurance for a young man is very expensive. Having driven with him I understand why it is so costly. I was not very different as a young driver. He has not been in an accident and that is wonderful. One of the challenges of life is learning how to care for and conserve those temporal blessings that we are given, expecially money. Adult choices of spending come with the adult consequences of not having when we over spend. As a parent it is also a challenge of how to help and not enable. As I observe what an entitled society we live in it is important to me that I some how be an influence for accountability and self sufficiency.
I am happy to have a job that I enjoy and good people to work with. I wish at times it were not so stressful and dependant up on getting new business. With both of my kids out of the house at the current time I have stuck my toe into the singles scene. It is not as easy as it was back in the day when I could just go join a ward and become involved. There is a conference coming up the weekend of the 18 thru the 21st. I will attend as painful and uncomfortable as it may be at times. I went to a planning meeting for the conference a couple of Sundays ago and really felt out of place. One of life's uncomfortable moments and an opportunity to learn and grow. Look for other ways to be involved was one lesson learned.
Our Stake has been really stressing reading the Book of Mormon and making it a part of our daily learning. I feel so blessed to have a testimony of the Book of Mormon and love those Prophets who wrote and abridged and Joseph Smith for bring it forth by the power of God.
Life is good and I am glad for the opportunity. Glad I made the choice I did in the pre-existance. Glad to have made the covenants I have made in my life. Now is the challenge of keeping them and living so I can return and live with Heavenly Father. I want to fulfill my purpose and destiny with courage and compassion. Doing so will bring me joy.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Kole is headed back to base 9-14-10
Kole is driving back to base.
I will miss him being around. He was such a good sport about my teasing him. He is a wonderful son and treats me very well.
Tonya is in Iowa. If you are on facebook you can catch up with Tonya
I turn 51 this month. Had a wonderful time skiing with the Layton's last weekend. It is fun to ride the tube. The grey hair has arrived and the body gets tired alot faster. It is fun to watch the younger generation have a blast. Great memories. Thanks Rhonda and Brent. My Mom even made cupcakes for my birthday.
I will miss him being around. He was such a good sport about my teasing him. He is a wonderful son and treats me very well.
Tonya is in Iowa. If you are on facebook you can catch up with Tonya
I turn 51 this month. Had a wonderful time skiing with the Layton's last weekend. It is fun to ride the tube. The grey hair has arrived and the body gets tired alot faster. It is fun to watch the younger generation have a blast. Great memories. Thanks Rhonda and Brent. My Mom even made cupcakes for my birthday.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Certified Scuba divers
Kole and I are certified scuba divers. We went to California and did our open water certification around the island. I got to see some sharks and a harbor seal then lobster on the night dive.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Kole purchased a Truck
Kole is the proud new owner of a 2008 black Toyota Tacoma 4x4. He is having fun driving around and I really like the smile on his face.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Kole is visiting
We took our scuba class this weekend and passed yippee.
Now we will working getting his truck purchased so we can take it when we go diving. Looking forward to visiting with family.
Tonya is working in Iowa. She said there was a lice breakout at the school.
Now we will working getting his truck purchased so we can take it when we go diving. Looking forward to visiting with family.
Tonya is working in Iowa. She said there was a lice breakout at the school.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Kole is back on base
Welcome back Kole. Glad you are back stateside. Looking forward to a visit.
On to another chapter in Kole's life.
Tonya will be going to Iowa to work on August 12. On to another chapter in Tonya's life.
I am working at the Bank and looking forward to the next chapter in my life.
On to another chapter in Kole's life.
Tonya will be going to Iowa to work on August 12. On to another chapter in Tonya's life.
I am working at the Bank and looking forward to the next chapter in my life.
Monday, July 12, 2010
7/12/10
hey mom sounds like everything is going well thats great well i dont have much time in country so thats good i have to go you have a nice day stay safe tell the family i said hi
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Post deployment from a Mom's perspective
I enjoyed her insight from a parents perspective.
In this post I want to address a syndrome I have found myself experiencing the last couple of months. I call it Post-Deployment Parent De-stressing or PDPD (and I guess is would be PDSD for spouses). We parents, spouses and family members are pretty resilient too, but it would be delusional to assume that we don't take on a very special kind of tension when our loved ones are deployed.
I considered myself to be pretty calm about the whole deployment for the most part. But like most of us, the tension slips out anyway -- like when I found myself surprised at the tears I experienced during the Memorial Day parade in our town last year. Hmmph! Who would have thought?
Now that my son has been back on US soil for two months, I notice some things. Unbeknownst to me, I clenched my teeth during my sleep during those twelve months. I didn't notice it then because my attention was elsewhere. But I do now. When I wake up in the morning with a stiffness in my jaw, I think, "Oh yeah, there it is." But what I notice most is that these sensations don't disappear the day our soldiers arrive home. I worked on this stress response for 12 months -- got it finely honed. So it's not going away right away. Which I think is really good noticing on my part, and as a parent. My son, like many returning military, has a year's worth of unwinding to do. He doesn't talk much about the bad parts, but occasionally little things slip out. He's not crazy about being redeployed, but if asked, he will serve. That tells me that maybe he's seen enough. But the tension is an underground stream, thinking already about the next deployment. For us too.PDPD is about giving yourself the space and the time to de-stress yourself. While it's true that our kids are more likely to die in an alcohol related car accident than in an attack in Iraq or Afghanistan, the life experiences they have are dramatically different.
New research on stress in the military from a group at University of Pennsylvania puts it better than anything I've read before: "Military service is inherently stressful. Servicemembers are expected to deal with significant and potentially traumatizing stressors, such as threats to individual safety, the necessity of inflicting harm on others, and exposure to injury, death and significant human suffering. Combat exposure has been linked to a range of negative health consequences, including posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, substance abuse, and physical health problems. Combat aside, deployment itself presents a host of additional stressors, such as difficult living conditions, boredom, and family separation. Current operations in Afghanistan and Iraq expose troops to unprecedented challenges. Multiple deployments exact a high toll, including lower morale, more mental health problems and more stress-related work problems. Moreover, counterinsurgency blurs distinctions between enemy combatants and civilians, leading to excruciating decisions about the use of lethal force based on ambiguous information. Finally, conservative rules of engagement (ROE) often place service-members in dangerous circumstances with limited options; for example, more than 60 percent of soldiers in Iraq reported experiencing a threatening situation in which the ROE prevented them from responding. "Wow, that's not another night on the town. These experiences are out of our reach, and deep down we sense that.
So parents and family members, let's go easy on ourselves. Let's spend some time noticing our own emotions, physical hot spots (tense shoulders, jaws, etc.) and meet the stress head on, hold it, and slowly let it go. And be patient. Our own resilience as family members, I strongly believe, helps bolster the resilience of our military loved ones. But being resilient doesn't mean hiding our own experiences or covering it up. The more we express where we are, what we need to increase our staying power, and learn from each other, the stronger our military families become.
In this post I want to address a syndrome I have found myself experiencing the last couple of months. I call it Post-Deployment Parent De-stressing or PDPD (and I guess is would be PDSD for spouses). We parents, spouses and family members are pretty resilient too, but it would be delusional to assume that we don't take on a very special kind of tension when our loved ones are deployed.
I considered myself to be pretty calm about the whole deployment for the most part. But like most of us, the tension slips out anyway -- like when I found myself surprised at the tears I experienced during the Memorial Day parade in our town last year. Hmmph! Who would have thought?
Now that my son has been back on US soil for two months, I notice some things. Unbeknownst to me, I clenched my teeth during my sleep during those twelve months. I didn't notice it then because my attention was elsewhere. But I do now. When I wake up in the morning with a stiffness in my jaw, I think, "Oh yeah, there it is." But what I notice most is that these sensations don't disappear the day our soldiers arrive home. I worked on this stress response for 12 months -- got it finely honed. So it's not going away right away. Which I think is really good noticing on my part, and as a parent. My son, like many returning military, has a year's worth of unwinding to do. He doesn't talk much about the bad parts, but occasionally little things slip out. He's not crazy about being redeployed, but if asked, he will serve. That tells me that maybe he's seen enough. But the tension is an underground stream, thinking already about the next deployment. For us too.PDPD is about giving yourself the space and the time to de-stress yourself. While it's true that our kids are more likely to die in an alcohol related car accident than in an attack in Iraq or Afghanistan, the life experiences they have are dramatically different.
New research on stress in the military from a group at University of Pennsylvania puts it better than anything I've read before: "Military service is inherently stressful. Servicemembers are expected to deal with significant and potentially traumatizing stressors, such as threats to individual safety, the necessity of inflicting harm on others, and exposure to injury, death and significant human suffering. Combat exposure has been linked to a range of negative health consequences, including posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, substance abuse, and physical health problems. Combat aside, deployment itself presents a host of additional stressors, such as difficult living conditions, boredom, and family separation. Current operations in Afghanistan and Iraq expose troops to unprecedented challenges. Multiple deployments exact a high toll, including lower morale, more mental health problems and more stress-related work problems. Moreover, counterinsurgency blurs distinctions between enemy combatants and civilians, leading to excruciating decisions about the use of lethal force based on ambiguous information. Finally, conservative rules of engagement (ROE) often place service-members in dangerous circumstances with limited options; for example, more than 60 percent of soldiers in Iraq reported experiencing a threatening situation in which the ROE prevented them from responding. "Wow, that's not another night on the town. These experiences are out of our reach, and deep down we sense that.
So parents and family members, let's go easy on ourselves. Let's spend some time noticing our own emotions, physical hot spots (tense shoulders, jaws, etc.) and meet the stress head on, hold it, and slowly let it go. And be patient. Our own resilience as family members, I strongly believe, helps bolster the resilience of our military loved ones. But being resilient doesn't mean hiding our own experiences or covering it up. The more we express where we are, what we need to increase our staying power, and learn from each other, the stronger our military families become.
Reunion Tips for Parents, Family and Friends
Here is some information I found on a website for soldiers coming home from deployment. The Army term is redeployment
Reunion Tips for Parents, Family, and Friends
As a parent, extended family member, or friend of an Service member, who is just coming home or is arriving soon, you are probably both excited and nervous about the homecoming. Even if you’ve been through a mobilization/ deployment before, this one has been different because of the increased stressors of the time. Regardless of your experience and Service member’s assignment, there will be a period of adjustment.
What to Expect When your Soldier Comes Home
You have certainly missed your Service member, as they have missed you. Reestablishing relationships will take time and communication. It’s normal for the returning Service member to “need space” upon their return. It’s normal to feel nervous and anxious about the homecoming. Plan for homecoming day. After homecoming, allow the returning Service member to schedule the next few days or weeks. Expect things to be different. Take time to understand how the Service member has changed. Be prepared and flexible. The Service member may have seen or experienced some things that were very upsetting. Some normal reactions to these abnormal situations are fear, nervousness, irritability, fatigue, sleep disturbances, startle reactions, moodiness, trouble concentrating, feelings of numbness, and frequent thoughts of the event. Talking with others who were there and/or counselors trained in crisis stress reactions is very important. The Service member may be facing a change in job assignment or a move. Readjustment and job transition cause stress. This may be especially true for demobilizing Guard and Reservists who are transitioning back into civilian life.
Making the Reunion Easier
Take time to get reacquainted. Communicate your love and concern. COMMUNICATE!! Tell each other how you feel—nervous, scared, happy, that you love and missed them. Listen to each other. The best way to get through the reacquaintance jitters and regain closeness is to talk and actively listen.
Reassure the Service member that they are needed, and that you are happy he/she has returned safely. Be calm and assertive, not defensive, when discussing events that have taken place during the Service member’s absence. The service member may need to hear that it wasn’t the same doing these things alone, that you’re glad he/she’s back, and that you’d like to discuss problems and criticisms calmly. Prepare children of the extended family for homecoming and involve them in reunion activities.
Take Time for Yourself to Make the Reunion for Everyone Concerned Easier: Make time to rest. Negotiate social events and activites. Limit your use of alcohol. Remember alcohol was restricted during the Service member’s deployment and tolerance is lowered. Go slowly in getting back into the swing of things. Depend on family and friends for support. You are part of the Service member’s support network.
Remember Go slowly - don't try to make up for lost time.
Accept that your Soldier may be different.
Take time to get reacquainted.
Reassure your loved ones.
Seek help if needed
Reunion Tips for Parents, Family, and Friends
As a parent, extended family member, or friend of an Service member, who is just coming home or is arriving soon, you are probably both excited and nervous about the homecoming. Even if you’ve been through a mobilization/ deployment before, this one has been different because of the increased stressors of the time. Regardless of your experience and Service member’s assignment, there will be a period of adjustment.
What to Expect When your Soldier Comes Home
You have certainly missed your Service member, as they have missed you. Reestablishing relationships will take time and communication. It’s normal for the returning Service member to “need space” upon their return. It’s normal to feel nervous and anxious about the homecoming. Plan for homecoming day. After homecoming, allow the returning Service member to schedule the next few days or weeks. Expect things to be different. Take time to understand how the Service member has changed. Be prepared and flexible. The Service member may have seen or experienced some things that were very upsetting. Some normal reactions to these abnormal situations are fear, nervousness, irritability, fatigue, sleep disturbances, startle reactions, moodiness, trouble concentrating, feelings of numbness, and frequent thoughts of the event. Talking with others who were there and/or counselors trained in crisis stress reactions is very important. The Service member may be facing a change in job assignment or a move. Readjustment and job transition cause stress. This may be especially true for demobilizing Guard and Reservists who are transitioning back into civilian life.
Making the Reunion Easier
Take time to get reacquainted. Communicate your love and concern. COMMUNICATE!! Tell each other how you feel—nervous, scared, happy, that you love and missed them. Listen to each other. The best way to get through the reacquaintance jitters and regain closeness is to talk and actively listen.
Reassure the Service member that they are needed, and that you are happy he/she has returned safely. Be calm and assertive, not defensive, when discussing events that have taken place during the Service member’s absence. The service member may need to hear that it wasn’t the same doing these things alone, that you’re glad he/she’s back, and that you’d like to discuss problems and criticisms calmly. Prepare children of the extended family for homecoming and involve them in reunion activities.
Take Time for Yourself to Make the Reunion for Everyone Concerned Easier: Make time to rest. Negotiate social events and activites. Limit your use of alcohol. Remember alcohol was restricted during the Service member’s deployment and tolerance is lowered. Go slowly in getting back into the swing of things. Depend on family and friends for support. You are part of the Service member’s support network.
Remember Go slowly - don't try to make up for lost time.
Accept that your Soldier may be different.
Take time to get reacquainted.
Reassure your loved ones.
Seek help if needed
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
6/8/10
hey its me how is everything going sounds like you had fun with the family i am doing good have a good day
love kole
love kole
6/7/10
ey its me
sounds like you are doing awsome i am as well oh yah i forgot to tell you that i reinlisted for another 4 years thanks for catching me up with what everyone is doing its great to know that every one is moving along with their lives and that everything is going well i did another mission today but nothing happened it was just really hot and i had about 50 pounds of gear on that i wish i coul get rid of their were a couple of comms issues today that i had to sort out but other then that not much happened i will be home in august so you dont have to worry about anything you have a good day
love you lots
kole
sounds like you are doing awsome i am as well oh yah i forgot to tell you that i reinlisted for another 4 years thanks for catching me up with what everyone is doing its great to know that every one is moving along with their lives and that everything is going well i did another mission today but nothing happened it was just really hot and i had about 50 pounds of gear on that i wish i coul get rid of their were a couple of comms issues today that i had to sort out but other then that not much happened i will be home in august so you dont have to worry about anything you have a good day
love you lots
kole
Friday, June 4, 2010
June 4, 2010
hey its me hows every thing doing i am ok will right back soon got to go hey its kole sorry i could not wright more earlyer i had to get the comms up how is every thing going i am not bad its really hot here and their is a lot to do their was a vbid here that is a bomb in a car it was not close to us but it was in our area of operation other then that it has been quite i whent in to the city of sinjar yesterday we did a patrol it was not fun way to hot to be walking in all that gear but it was better then sitting in the toc all day long the toc is the tactical operations center well have a good day love kole
Monday, May 3, 2010
5/1/10
hey mom how is every thing going i am doing great any way we are going to be moving again in a couple of weeks and their will be a lot of work that will need to be done so this might be the last time that you will hear from me for some time
love yah lots
kole
love yah lots
kole
Thursday, April 8, 2010
4/8/10 wow twice in the same month
hey
how are you doing not much is going on its really boaring over here i have been going out on missions more and more lately but you dont need to worry nothing will happen its not like that any more got to go
love kole
how are you doing not much is going on its really boaring over here i have been going out on missions more and more lately but you dont need to worry nothing will happen its not like that any more got to go
love kole
4/5/09
hey its me how is everything its not bad here well any way not much going on here tell every one i said hi and that everything is ok
love kole
love kole
Sunday, March 21, 2010
hey mom its me sorry for not keeping in touch but ork has been realy busy i have been getting little to no sleepfor about thelast 2 months i have a little bit of time to day and i am glad to have this oppertunaty to wright you even if it s a short paragraph things are ok here in this desalete and discusting chunk of land they call iraq i am well got to go i have to do inventory kole
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